Missing children in my life

My darling, Still no contact from your mum so I think we can safely assume that I am no longer welcome in your life. I have been with children for last week, looking after them as you know. I wrote a note about it for my friends, that i am reprinting here: I have had the pleasure of spending the last week with my nieces and nephew. I thought it was a tremendous experience and I wanted to share some of it with you. Firstly, wow! What an all encompassing life it is with children. They become the focus of your life so easily, but in the best possible way. Looking after their needs, talking to them, trying to encourage them, ensuring that they understand why you are telling them to do things - it is so rewarding! They have a way of putting stuff in perspective really. I look at my lifestyle, and realise that if we were going to have children that I would have to cut my hours, that I would want to move out of this area I love because I want them to have the air and space I had as a child, and that my priorities would change. All that in a week! Even simple pleasure is derived from laughing at Spongebob Squarepants with them. The love and affection you feel towards them is so pure it is incredible. But what surprises me most is the sheer responsibility. I sort of knew it - after all so many of you have had children, but to be confronted with it - well, my respect for all the parents has gone up again. especially single parents, I do not know how you manage it. I suppose because you must. But I envy you every minute of it. So I am back to my normal life now, but I miss the constant noise, the insistent calls and the sense of family life with children. The point is that I want you in my life more than ever, and it shall be my cross to bear that I am not part of your life. I hope that your parents truly realise how lucky they are to have you. I would give anything to have you. I love you.