Ups and downs... again

Little one, I saw a good friend of mine today for the first time since she gave birth to her little boy earlier in the year. I told her about you and she was full of sage advice. It is funny how parents react differently to people who do not have children. The way I describe my feelings to them is always understood. The fact that you are more important to me than almost anything and the grief I feel at the loss of you being in my life. I do not get to feel you kick, I do not get to tell everyone, I do not get to see your mother in full bloom. These are all profound regrets for me. My ups are smaller, but significant. I am talking to someone about my problems and recognising certain issues that I have had for many years. I am getting on slighty better with my wife and I am more myself. I hope that when you get to read this you have been brought up in an environment where you can talk about your problems. I think that this was my problem. Not that my parents were bad - they were great. But I suppose that is a story that needs further thought before I tell you about it. Love always x