Missing your mother

Hello my dear, I hope that you are happy in the womb at the moment, and when you finally read this. I know I talk a lot about your mum. I may well not have seen her for years by the time you read this, but I want you to know that I love her. It is important to realise that you were born of love, at least on my part. You know that I am married, so I am briefly going to touch on the subject of polyamoury. I doubt that it will be any more acceptable in your day than it is in mine, but it is my firm belief that you can love more than one person completely. My wife and I are of the same beliefs on this, and if you meet her you can talk to her about it. Your mother is so special, and many of my tears are the loss of her. I understand why it had to be but it does not make it any easier. I just want to hold her and you in my arms all of the time. We were good together, and I think could have been more. When she is happy it just radiates out of her, she has beautiful emotive eyes. I hope that the mum you know is still the same. She has had some big things to deal with in her life, but she loves you and wants you so much. She just suffers from doubts sometimes and you may see some of that. Support her if you can. Her love for you is unconditional as is mine. The truth is I miss her more than I can tell her and I must not tell her as she has made the decision to be with your dad. Sometimes I wonder should I have fought for what I really wanted - you and her. I don't know and I suppose I never will. But the point of this is that you should fight for what you want. Of course you should consider other people's feelings, but I have lost both of you for exactly that reason. And that is a constant source of pain for me now. Sounds bad doesn't it? I just hope that you do not make the same mistakes that I did. In the end though you are the man or woman that you are, and I am immensely proud of you for getting this far. I love you.