Sometimes it is difficult to write

Darling Little One I am not sure why I have found it difficult to write recently. I am sorry that it is the case that I have. I suppose it is mainly because you could arrive in the world at any time and I have to confess… I am scared. I’m scared of so much. I am scared of never seeing you. Of never knowing the truth about you. Of never knowing you. I suppose it is a bit of a cop out. You mean the world to me and as everything else in my life is crumbling, you are my ray of light, the proof that the future is worthwhile. I need to tell you what else is going on. I am getting divorced. My wife blames you, or rather, she blames your mother for this, but it is not the case. Well, not directly anyway: she and I want different things. I want a happy, normal marriage and children and she does not. This has made our relationship impossible to continue. You have made all this happy and I am so grateful to you for just being you and your mother for showing me another way. I never wanted to hurt my wife, but she has hurt me so much over the last few years and you made me realise what was important to me. I will try and continue with this blog. You are worth it, but in some ways I feel that I should let you go, not because I want to, but it would be easier for everyone involved. But either way my heart truly belongs to you. I love you. xxxx