How does it feel?

Little one, I have been thinking a lot about pregnancy the last few days. I wonder what it would be like to be pregnant. I have felt baby's kick in their mum's tummies, I have been with pregnant women, I have spoken to friends at length about it but I suppose it is just the curse of my sex that I will never experience it. I suppose that is the bitterest part of this at the moment. I would have loved to share this pregnancy with your mum even if ultimately she was not with me and with your dad. I suppose I just do not understand why she has cut me out. I am sure it would be obvious if I could be objective about this, but I still find it difficult. I hope that one day I will have my own children so I can experience this, but for the time being I will just have to wonder. Anyway, whilst this might sound negative, it's not. I know why I talk about it - it is because I am worried about you and that is normal for someone who feels like a parent. I am still just happy that you are alive. Love always xxx